Someday it will be easier....

Ever since Larry was injured, life has just been a roller coaster of emotions. Life lessons....the most difficult situations that we could have imagined. While there has been a lot of progress with physical injuries, the emotional damage is definitely still doing its thing. Larry has made a lot of progress with emotional issues as well. For me, it's the nightmares and the worry that still get to me. I still will wake up in a panic sometimes, not sure if I was dreaming or not. There is so much for me to sort through. I feel like my emotions have just been in overdrive for the last 6 1/2 years. That's a long time to feel like you are losing your grasp on your emotions.

I have an amazing therapist though. I'm not afraid or ashamed to say it. I've been being treated for PTSD, Depression, OCD and another Anxiety Disorder. Yup, when I do something...I make sure I have all my bases covered apparently. LOL I can say that I have made a lot of progress. Some day I'm sure that I will have a handle on all of it. But add the stress of dealing with the VA into the mix, and let's not forget the emotional marathon that infertility is making me run....can you see where I'd be tired? Ready for a break? Ready for just one piece of this huge puzzle to fit into place and hoping that the rest of it will follow...

I don't think that people really think about how much things like the bombing effect the family too. And I don't think people understand that this is never going to go away. It will get better, but it won't ever be gone. We can't go back and change it. We wake up to what happened in Iraq every single day, and we will forever. That's real. Does it suck? Yes. Will we let it destroy us? Absolutely not. There are days when I want to give up. There are days where I'm not sure where the hell I'm going to get the strength to get out of bed and face the day. But I know that we will be ok. I know that together we can do anything. I know that God would never give us more than we could handle. Sometimes it just takes a little while for me to remember that.