Trying to make huge decisions

So where to go from here? Here's what's new. I am on cycle day 12 right now, waiting for ovulation. This month we tried a new med-Femara. It's primary function is not fertility, but it has recently started to be used for that. It's supposed to be a lot like chlomid, but without as many side effects. It works on different receptors than chlomid also. Though the doc is not optimistic about it working, we figured that it would be worth a try. So we'll do this for a few months.

If this doesn't work, we're going to be faced with the decision of trying IVF. That's a HUGE decision. It's not guaranteed to work, and it costs about $12000 per cycle. The doc seems to think that I'm a great candidate for it, but again, it's not a guarantee that it will work. When all of this started, there was no way we would have been able to even consider it. I am so grateful that we are able to have a choice now. It's not going to be easy, but it's not completely out of reach either. We had talked to the doc about the series of shots also. They are about $2000 a cycle. So, do you put your money into that or save it for IVF? And I'm running out of time. I'll be 33 in November, so I'm nearing that time when the cons outweigh the pros.

In all of this, I have had someone to talk to who has been where I am and understands better than anyone else does. I have had a few meltdowns on the phone with her, and she's been more than supportive and understanding. She and I have talked about the option of adoption a lot, and her kids have actually been some of the best help I've had. Weird right? But I am now leaning in a different direction because of them. While I want more than anything to have a baby of my own, I'm to the point now where Larry and I are talking very seriously about starting the process of adoption. Whether or not we have a baby, I think that we are wanting very much to do this. It's a lot to think about. But we are just ready. Ready to have a family. And hopefully we'll have our own, but who knows if that's gonna happen...and we're not getting any younger.

*sigh* I hate being an adult sometimes.