That kinda day.

So, I'm sure that most people that read this already know that I have been on Sertraline (Zoloft) for several years for PTSD, OCD, Depression and Anxiety.  Wellllll, I decided that I did not want any other meds in my system if they didn't need to be there.  Originally, I was going to stay on it through the 2nd trimester, but after seeing the baby, I just couldn't add any extra risks.  So I weaned off of them.  

I'm really feeling it.  Especially today.  I am freaking out about everything.  I'm freaking out because the baby was measuring at 6 weeks last week.  What if baby's not growing right?  I know that we are reaching the other milestones like an apparent heartbeat, but what if there's still something wrong?  And let's not even get started on the upcoming VA appointments for Larry.  Everything just keeps going through my head.  I'm really tired, and I can't sleep because I can't shut my brain off.  I'm going over dates in my head, trying to figure out if the baby is really far behind....I just want to shut it all off for a bit, but now that it's started, I don't know how to get it to stop.  Today is the first day that I've really felt like the anxiety is really overwhelming.  I'm trying really hard to just calm down, but I have another week to go till my next appointment.  What if there's something wrong and I don't have any symptoms...and then I go in next week and the baby's heart isn't beating or it hasn't grown any. 

*sigh* I just wish there was a way to know if everything was going to be ok.  I might not lose my mind in the process.