I left my brave face in my other pants

The last couple of days I haven't wanted to be okay with any of this. I've just wanted to be sad. I know that the roller coaster of emotions isn't over with yet, but I sure wish I could get on with it. I was feeling okay with everything, and I still am mostly. But I'm really sad. I just don't know why this keeps happening and I hope that they will have some answers for me. Answers that will be good news.

Starting around this time of year it starts to get a little hard for me. It's funny how an event several years ago can leave such an imprint in you. I guess it wouldn't be as bad if the nightmares didn't start up again around now. And I'm sure that they're not helping with the other stuff I'm trying to deal with the best way I know how.

So today, I don't want to be brave. I don't want to be optimistic. I want to be sad and a little lonely and heartbroken. And since it's my burden, I think I'll do just that. Tomorrow is another day, but for today, I say BOOOOOO!