Chlomid week

It's Chlomid week again! Oy. Bring on the weird food cravings and bad hot flashes and mood swings! Yeah bitches! LOL I was thinking a lot today about how really lucky I am to be married to Larry. He's so understanding...and he can turn weeks like this around. He's always making me laugh, and that's something that I really need right now.

I also just can't say enough about the friends I have. The ones that are checking on me, making sure I'm ok. The ones that understand because they are going through the same thing or have gone through it. Sometimes it's that one person's phone call that can make all the difference for the day. That one thing they say that was so perfect, that you can't thank them enough for being there for you.

I was feeling pretty sarcastic today. I've just decided that I'm done with playing around and being uber nice to people that don't deserve it. If you don't like who I am, then there is no reason to stay around me. I have no patience for people that want to change me-that think they have the right to tell me how I should be feeling or what I should do. Thankfully, I feel like right now I'm only surrounded by people that truly care. It makes such difference. I'm not pretending anymore. I'm not going to plaster on a smile and tell you what you want to hear. I'm going to tell you what I think, and how I feel, because this is real.

It's amazing how our outlook changes so much over the years. How some things that used to be so important to us feel like they are not worth the time or the effort anymore, while other aspects of life seem to take over everything you do. Right now, for me, I'm concentrating on Larry, and starting a family, and finding peace with ME. I'm working through the things I know I need to work through. It's taking a long time, and I have a long way to go.

I'm also really trying to be there for my friends. Just as much as I need them, I know they need me. Dealing with adult stuff sucks. I wanna go back to the days when I didn't have to worry about anything. I just got up and did what I knew I had to do-everything was there in front of me and I just went. And now, it feels like it's a fight every day to get what we need.

Someone take me to Disneyland.